when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.