I think about other women when having sex

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.