When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I hate being called "buddy".

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.