When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I think about other women when having sex

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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check shower for murder then pee

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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look at bins as i walk past them

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.