When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Having gay sex

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.