When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

I hate being called "buddy".

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.