My parents are annoying.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.