Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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I think about other women when having sex

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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humiliating little girls

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.