Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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My parents are annoying.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.