Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Think about breathing...

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.