Play as both sides on fifa

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

call someone by a siblings name.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -59

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -6

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

thumb_up thumb_down -28

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Brake for tail-gaters

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.