Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.