i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.