My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.