thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Boinked my neighbor

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.