Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.