When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Vote for the other guy

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.