Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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My parents are annoying.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Look at my poop before flushing

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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check shower for murder then pee

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.