I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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blink

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.