when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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My parents are annoying.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I never feel bored

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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listen to madonnas new album

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.