I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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k. everyone

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.