strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I never feel bored

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.