Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.