If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

I never feel bored

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Take off the ends of the banana (

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.