Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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k. everyone

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Think about breathing...

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My parents are annoying.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.