I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Having gay sex

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.