When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.