When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.