When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Vote for the other guy

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.