When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.