Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.