check shower for murder then pee

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.