Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Boinked my neighbor

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.