I push the door open with my stomach

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Vote for the other guy

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.