Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Boinked my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -63

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -87

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -107

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

thumb_up thumb_down +16

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.