Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

thumb_up thumb_down -45

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -73

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.