When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.