Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.