Thinking your life is a movie...

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I never feel bored

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.