- Things You Think Only You Do

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.