Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

Boinked my neighbor

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.