Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

call someone by a siblings name.

Still record on VHS tapes.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.