When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Having gay sex

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.