Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Having gay sex

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I think about other women when having sex

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.