Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.