Having gay sex

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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listen to madonnas new album

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.