try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

humiliating little girls

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.