Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.