when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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humiliating little girls

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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k. everyone

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.