When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Boinked my neighbor

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.