After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.