After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

Brake for tail-gaters

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.