Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I never feel bored

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.