Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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speak proper english

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.