Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

thumb_up thumb_down -42

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

thumb_up thumb_down -56

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.