humiliating little girls

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.