Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

thumb_up thumb_down -43

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Believing in the kindness of strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.