try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.