How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.