Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Having gay sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.