thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.