- Things You Think Only You Do

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

Poo really loud

When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Brake for tail-gaters

I masturbate with sandpaper

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

Picking my nose.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.