when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.