Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.