When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.