I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.