I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.