after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Poo really loud

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Vote for the other guy

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.