CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I piss in the bed every night

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I never feel bored

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.