Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I piss in the bed every night

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.