Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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blink

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Poo really loud

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.