Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I piss in the bed every night

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I push the door open with my stomach

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.