Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Having gay sex

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I never feel bored

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.