When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

Look at my poo before I flush it.

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Play with my own boobs for no reason

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.