When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.