Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Poo really loud

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.