OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I was the real Stig...

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.