listen to madonnas new album

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.