Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Having gay sex

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.