pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Vote for the other guy

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Being fat

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.