if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Having gay sex

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.