Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.