Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -84

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -90

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

thumb_up thumb_down -118

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.