sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I never feel bored

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Videotape my mother in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.