I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.