Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Having gay sex

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I never feel bored

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.