I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Having gay sex

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Sometimes I toot.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.