I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I piss in the bed every night

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I never feel bored

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.