dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.