when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -29

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

thumb_up thumb_down

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.