check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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humiliating little girls

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.