Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Vote for the other guy

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Being fat

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.