I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

I piss in the bed every night

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.