Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.