I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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My parents are annoying.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I piss in the bed every night

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Mayada stupid

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.