I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.