Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.