Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -24

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -24

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.