When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I piss in the bed every night

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.