When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.