Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.