Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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My parents are annoying.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.