Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I think about other women when having sex

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.