When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.