Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Boinked my neighbor

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes I toot.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.