I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I piss in the bed every night

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.