Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

Feels my beard with my tongue.

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Mayada stupid

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.