- Things You Think Only You Do

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

I Masturbate Daily.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.