Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -28

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

thumb_up thumb_down -34

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

thumb_up thumb_down -48

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.