I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.