look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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listen to madonnas new album

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.