I piss in the bed every night

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Tear up when I poop

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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humiliating little girls

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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blink

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.