- Things You Think Only You Do

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.