Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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listen to madonnas new album

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Mayada stupid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.