When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.