Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +26

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +18

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -32

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Videotape my mother in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.