watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I read the down voted posts

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.