Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Tear up when I poop

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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humiliating little girls

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.