Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Having gay sex

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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blink

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.