sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.