When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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fall asleep in the shower.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Being fat

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.