Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.