Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.