Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Mayada stupid

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.