Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.