getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.