Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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speak proper english

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.