I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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blink

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.