I gotta get down of Friday

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.