don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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The older I get the more honest I get

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.