Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.