When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.