Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I piss in the bed every night

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I never feel bored

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.