Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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blink

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.