Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -50

make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Only use the left earphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

k. everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

thumb_up thumb_down +27

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +19

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -7

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.