I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.