think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.