Play as both sides on fifa

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.