Look at my poop before flushing

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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call someone by a siblings name.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.