if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.