Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.