wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I read the down voted posts

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.