Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down -57

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -57

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.