sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Poo really loud

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.