My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.