Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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blink

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.