sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I piss in the bed every night

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Mayada stupid

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Do somthing only you do

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.