I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

test how many stares you can scale in one step

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

I was the real Stig...

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

The older I get the more honest I get

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.