Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Tear up when I poop

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.