I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I was the real Stig...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.