I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.