Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.