Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I piss in the bed every night

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.