Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Sitting down in the shower

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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I was the real Stig...

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.