When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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blink

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.