After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Tear up when I poop

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.