Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.