After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.