Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Mayada stupid

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.