don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Mayada stupid

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.