Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -22

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.