When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.