- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

I Masturbate Daily.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.