Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

thumb_up thumb_down -48

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -54

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -60

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down -76

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -82

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I was the real Stig...

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.