sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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blink

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.