like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Tear up when I poop

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.