Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -60

try to give your friends spirit animals

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

thumb_up thumb_down +17

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I piss in the bed every night

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do somthing only you do

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.