laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.