When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I cant ride a bike

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Poo really loud

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.