Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.