sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Courtesy flush.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.