sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.