After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Being fat

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.