Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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I was the real Stig...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.