Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

thumb_up thumb_down -53

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -57

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

thumb_up thumb_down -63

WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.