Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +46

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

thumb_up thumb_down -30

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.