Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Take off the ends of the banana (

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

The older I get the more honest I get

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.