I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.