Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.