Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Tear up when I poop

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Be a loner at school

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.