When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I was the real Stig...

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.