whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I hit the frig after sex

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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I cant ride a bike

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.