Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

thumb_up thumb_down -45

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -47

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

thumb_up thumb_down -63

WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.