Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.