Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.