sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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make south park refferences every day

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.