when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Tear up when I poop

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.