Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Mayada stupid

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.