I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.