Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I cant ride a bike

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.