Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

k. everyone

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Tear up when I poop

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.