Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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k. everyone

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Tear up when I poop

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.