get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.