Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.