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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.
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-73
(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?
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-77
Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club
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-79
When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.
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-91
Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.
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-93
taking a shit while brushing my teeth.
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-103
laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.
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-107
When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.
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+42
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+30
When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind
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+24
I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.
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+20
When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...
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+16
When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better
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+16
realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention
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+16
Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.
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+10
When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.
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+10
whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.
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+6
Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it
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+2
hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.
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-2
Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.
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-4
I hit the frig after sex
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-4
pull out a flies wings and let it go
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-4
I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is
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-6
Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person
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-6
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.