LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I Masturbate Daily.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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I was the real Stig...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.