When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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fall asleep in the shower.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.