I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Ur mum

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.