Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.