whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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look at bins as i walk past them

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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k. everyone

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.