start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.