Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.