Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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k. everyone

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.