sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.