sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

Videotape my mother in the shower.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.