i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I read the down voted posts

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.