- Things You Think Only You Do

Videotape my mother in the shower.

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

I Masturbate Daily.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.