Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I Masturbate Daily.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.