Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Mayada stupid

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.