Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Mayada stupid

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.