Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.