WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I piss in the bed every night

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Mayada stupid

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.