Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.