I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.