WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Go for a 10 mile run.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

I piss in the bed every night

Mayada stupid

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.