The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.