Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

I hit the frig after sex

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

I read the down voted posts

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Eating chicken at KFC.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.