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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....
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-14
when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open
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-18
when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.
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-18
after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth
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-22
When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.
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-22
sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people
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-22
Picking your dogs booger for him/her
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-24
When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.
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-24
I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.
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-26
I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.
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-26
When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.
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-28
Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.
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-28
When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.
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-30
When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in
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-32
I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol
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-32
While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.
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-32
i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole
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-32
I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.
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-34
Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.
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-40
I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".
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-40
have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?
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-40
I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.
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-40
Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.
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-42
Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.
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-42
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.