Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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I hit the frig after sex

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I read the down voted posts

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.