When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Mayada stupid

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.