Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I piss in the bed every night

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Tear up when I poop

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.