I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.