Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.