Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.