- Things You Think Only You Do

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.