Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.