No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Picking my nose.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.