Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Only use the left earphone.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.