Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I mean Diana Ross.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.