I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

I piss in the bed every night

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.