Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.