- Things You Think Only You Do

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.