Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.