Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

try to give your friends spirit animals

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

I gotta get down of Friday

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.