I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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I piss in the bed every night

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.