Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.