I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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make south park refferences every day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.