- Things You Think Only You Do

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.