cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.