DIY LOL
Anti Joke
Meanwhile In
Shit Brix
ethugtxt
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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?
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-79
I gotta get down of Friday
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-79
Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you
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-85
worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.
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-89
When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning
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-91
Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.
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-93
Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.
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-93
Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.
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-93
taking a shit while brushing my teeth.
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-103
I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?
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-109
putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out
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-119
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+30
Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.
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+26
When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up
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+22
When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better
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+16
realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention
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+16
Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.
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+14
Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment
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+12
When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.
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+10
like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy
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+8
Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.
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+8
When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.
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+4
pull out a flies wings and let it go
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-2
I hit the frig after sex
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-4
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.