recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.