When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I hit the frig after sex

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Tear up when I poop

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I cant ride a bike

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.