When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.