that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I hit the frig after sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.