I hit the frig after sex

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.