Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.