- Things You Think Only You Do

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

make south park refferences every day

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.