whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.