Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.