When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.