Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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I piss in the bed every night

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.