- Things You Think Only You Do

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I can't piss with my shoes on.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.