judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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I Masturbate Daily.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Being fat

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.