- Things You Think Only You Do

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.