Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

I piss in the bed every night

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Mayada stupid

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

Do somthing only you do

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

Save more than once on your favourite game.

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.