rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I piss in the bed every night

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.