When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.