RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I was the real Stig...

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.