Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.