When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.