DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Parent Failure
Things You Think Only You Do
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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?
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-109
putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out
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-119
I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.
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-127
Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"
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-135
When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.
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+42
get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast
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+38
Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.
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+30
When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better
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+16
realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention
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+16
Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment
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+12
When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.
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+10
Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.
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+8
If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.
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+2
Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it
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+2
pull out a flies wings and let it go
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-2
Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.
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-6
my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big
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-8
1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.
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-8
Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.
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-10
I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk
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-12
Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.
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-14
Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.
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-14
Tear up when I poop
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-14
get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up
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-14
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.