I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

Thinking your life is a movie...

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.