While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

Tear up when I poop

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.