Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Thinking your life is a movie...

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.