1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.