When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.