see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.