Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.