as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I always think I have special powers

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.