Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.