don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.