imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.