- Things You Think Only You Do

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Ur mum

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

Courtesy flush.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

make south park refferences every day

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.