I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Poo really loud

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.