When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

test how many stares you can scale in one step

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.