Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I was the real Stig...

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.