I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make up a song to yourself.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I piss in the bed every night

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Mayada stupid

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.