We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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make south park refferences every day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.