- Things You Think Only You Do

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Only use the left earphone.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.