Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.