Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Tear up when I poop

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.