trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.