Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I Masturbate Daily.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.