Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.