Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.