Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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only read the short jokes on this website

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Ur mum

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.