wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Picking my nose.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.