Courtesy flush.

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

I Masturbate Daily.

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

I gotta get down of Friday

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.