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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?
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-78
I gotta get down of Friday
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-80
i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.
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-86
I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)
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-92
Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"
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-134
Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.
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+11
Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."
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+9
When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them
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+9
I wonder if sport games are rigged?
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+7
When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.
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+3
Use my phone to see what time it is
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+3
Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.
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+1
Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.
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-1
hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.
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-3
When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.
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-3
I hit the frig after sex
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-5
When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.
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-5
(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)
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-9
I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.
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-9
Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.
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-11
Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first
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-11
Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine
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-15
I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time
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-15
Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins
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-17
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.