forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Courtesy flush.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.