- Things You Think Only You Do

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.