Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I piss in the bed every night

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Mayada stupid

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Do somthing only you do

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.