I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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I piss in the bed every night

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.