- Things You Think Only You Do

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

Poo really loud

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.