Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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blink

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.