- Things You Think Only You Do

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

I cant ride a bike

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.