(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -80

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.