Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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make south park refferences every day

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I was the real Stig...

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.