Use my phone to see what time it is

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

Tear up when I poop

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

Be a loner at school

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.