recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

make south park refferences every day

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.