Courtesy flush.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.