- Things You Think Only You Do

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

I gotta get down of Friday

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

Use my phone to see what time it is

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.