Use my phone to see what time it is

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Tear up when I poop

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Be a loner at school

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.