Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.