I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Courtesy flush.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.