Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.