when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.