I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I chew my ice cream.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.