Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Only use the left earphone.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

I gotta get down of Friday

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.