Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

I read the down voted posts

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.