When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.