When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -114

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -116

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +23

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I chew my ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.