If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.