RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.