as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.