- Things You Think Only You Do

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

get a new to you car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.