thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.