Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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blink

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Poo really loud

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Being fat

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.