- Things You Think Only You Do

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Sometimes I toot.

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.