Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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make south park refferences every day

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.