I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Only use the left earphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -62

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -112

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -122

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.