Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

make south park refferences every day

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.