- Things You Think Only You Do

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.