I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +39

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.