Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Use my phone to see what time it is

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down -3

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

thumb_up thumb_down -15

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Be a loner at school

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -17

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.