Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.