I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I Masturbate Daily.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I gotta get down of Friday

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Go for a 10 mile run.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.