Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.