I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.