The older I get the more honest I get

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.