When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

listen to madonnas new album

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Courtesy flush.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.