I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Boinked my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -65

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -117

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.