I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.