I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

I gotta get down of Friday

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.