I chew my ice cream.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.