Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.