- Things You Think Only You Do

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.