as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Tear up when I poop

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.