- Things You Think Only You Do

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Poo really loud

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Sitting down in the shower

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.