when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

Justin Beiber is a woman

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

the power to regenerate your appendix

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.