Justin Beiber is a woman

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.