I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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I cant ride a bike

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.