Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

thumb_up thumb_down -50

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -70

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -98

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.