When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Poo really loud

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.