- Things You Think Only You Do

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Poo really loud

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.