At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.