interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.