I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

I sleep in my underpants every single night

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.