- Things You Think Only You Do

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

fall asleep in the shower.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.