Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I was the real Stig...

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.