Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.