I gotta get down of Friday

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.