When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.