Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.