When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.