sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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make south park refferences every day

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.