I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Poo really loud

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.