When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Poo really loud

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Courtesy flush.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.