have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.