I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Poo really loud

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Boinked my neighbor

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.