Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.