Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I was the real Stig...

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.