- Things You Think Only You Do

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

I can only play a piano with my right hand

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.