When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I have a phobia of incest

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I chew my ice cream.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.