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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

I chew my ice cream.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.