Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I was the real Stig...

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.