Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Ur mum

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Courtesy flush.

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fap

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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make south park refferences every day

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.