- Things You Think Only You Do

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

fap

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Picking my nose.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

make south park refferences every day

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.