- Things You Think Only You Do

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

I was not born in the country I am living in now

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I was the real Stig...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.