I mean Diana Ross.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.