- Things You Think Only You Do

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.