- Things You Think Only You Do

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

fall asleep in the shower.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I don't read the terms of service.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

fap

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Picking my nose.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.